Words are some of the first gifts our children learn to give. A cheerful “good morning,” a quick “nice job,” a quiet “are you okay?” can change someone’s whole day. Children ages 6 to 9 are learning so much about how their words land on other people, and they are watching us to see how it is done.
The good news is that kind words can be practiced, just like reading or counting. Here are a few gentle ways to help your child grow a habit of speaking kindly at home, at school, and everywhere in between.
What God Says About Our Words
The Bible has a lovely picture for kind words. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Children understand sweet things right away! You might ask your child, “What does honey taste like? How do you think a kind word feels to someone who hears it?”
Another verse to share together is Ephesians 4:32: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” This reminds all of us, grown-ups included, that our kindness flows from the kindness God has already shown us.
Simple At-Home Activities
The Honey Jar. Find an empty jar and a stack of small paper slips. Each time someone in the family hears a kind word, they write it down (or draw it, for younger children) and drop it in the jar. At the end of the week, read the slips aloud together. It is a sweet way to notice how much kindness is already happening in your home.
Kind Word Swap. Say a grumpy sentence in a silly voice, like “Move! You’re in my way!” Then ask your child to “fix it” into a kind one, such as “Excuse me, may I get by, please?” The silliness keeps it light, and children get real practice turning frustration into gentle words.
Three Good Things. At dinner or bedtime, have each person say one kind thing about someone else at the table. It only takes a minute, and it helps children learn to look for the good in others.
Thank-You Notes. Help your child write a short note to a teacher, a grandparent, or a neighbor. This is kindness and reading and writing practice all in one!
Stories and Games That Help
Books are a wonderful way to talk about kindness without it feeling like a lecture. When you read together, pause and ask, “Was that a kind thing to say? What else could the character have said?”
If you would like a fun read for your 1st through 4th grader, Lulu Lilly the Great Lemonade Strike: a Labor Day Story of Bees, Bosses, and One Very Bad Batch is a funny chapter book with 8 chapters and 58 black and white illustrations. Since our honeycomb verse is all about sweetness, a story with bees in it makes a fun pairing, and it even ends with an Ocean-in-a-Bottle craft you can make together.
And if you like to plan ahead, Lulu Lilly Valentine’s Day Heartache Hero is one to tuck away for February.
At lululillybooks.com, you will also find the free Heartache Hero kindness game. It is made for children ages 5 to 9 and uses everyday situations to get kids thinking about kindness. There is no score and no timer, so there is no rush, and there is a free certificate, too. As the site says, “No login, no ads, nothing collected about your child.” There are free printables and coloring pages there, too, if you would like a quiet activity to go along with your kindness talks.
Keep Planting Sweet Words
Some days our children will say the wrong thing. Some days we will, too. That is all part of growing. Every time you gently guide your child back to a kinder word, you are planting something good that will keep growing for years to come.
Thank you for the love and patience you pour into your little ones. May your home be filled with words that are sweet to the soul.
With love,
Lulu Lilly Books
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